Before I turn my "snarky bitch" dial to MAXIMUM, let me just say this is a lovely thought, and in the holiday season it is the thought that counts. That said, this shit be cray.
Wouldn't it be nice to have your child help in the kitchen and have it actually be helpful on a random Tuesday, let alone on the Holy Grail of Cooking holiday? The last time I had my 5 year old in the kitchen with me I am pretty sure a booger ended up in our pie. (Since it was for his pre-school class and would end up being "Dumpster Pie" I didn't really care that much.) The last time I cooked Thanksgiving dinner WITHOUT the assistance of a toddler I almost landed in the looney bin just by his sheer presence in the house. No, Thanksgiving is not the time for little snotty, dirty finger nailed, toddler helping hands.
Without further delay, let's get to the highlights shall we?
1. The TurkeyYour toddler can help:
WOW, just...wow. Yes, in addition to the standard stress of meal prep in general and while likely doing 10 other things, I will make sure that my 2 year old doesn't run full sprint from the kitchen when he sees fit (which could be at ANY moment) until he washes his hands, a feat accomplished on a good day by my having to physically restrain him and wrestle him into the bathroom and shove his filthy hands under the water while he screams bloody murder. Not to mention that he will very likely run off while MY hands are also covered in butter and raw meat and will require their own washing which will take just enough time for him to touch every f&cking surface in the house.
2. Mashed PotatoesYour toddler can help:
Yes they will love "giving it a go", they will also love flinging boiled potato all over my kitchen.
3. StuffingYour toddler can help:
If my toddler is steady with his hands? Yea, my toddler has hands like a surgeon, totally. Seriously? When was the last time you met a toddler with steady hands? The whole point of toddlerhood is to be UNSTEADY!
4. Dinner RollsYour toddler can help:
The last time my toddler shaped something out of play-doh it resembled a penis so I'll pass on this one.
5. Sweet Potato CasseroleYour toddler can help:
Ok, because I trust the palate of a person that eats his own boogers, thinks PB&J is haute cuisine but turns his nose up at a perfectly seasoned and cooked piece of meat or fish.
|Is this really who you want helping in the kitchen on Thanksgiving?|
6. Green Bean CasseroleYour toddler can help:
7. Cranberry SauceYour toddler can help:
Grinding my own spices? That's just showing off! Who has time to grind their own spices with a toddler around?
8. Pumpkin PieYour toddler can help:
WHOA! Hold it a second. Unless you are a bonafide pastry chef it is hard enough to get your pie crust just right to begin with, no way would I let those little chubby germ sticks near my pie crust. This is just an irresponsible suggestion.
9. Pecan PieYour toddler can help:
Yep, I'll come grab those two cups of pecans from you as soon as I pick up the remaining 300 that fell out of the bag and onto the floor.
10. The Table
It's not a recipe, but it's still a big part of Thanksgiving! Your toddler can help:
My 2 year old thinks my trivets are giant cookies...true story.
(The original article by Cambria Bold can be seen here in its entirety http://bit.ly/1R2d3fk, and there are actually some cute ideas in it, don't let my bad attitude steer you away.)