Friday, March 20, 2015

Picky Eater: 4 Year Old Reacts to Recipes for Picky Eaters - VIDEO

On March 15th a lovely article was published on BuzzFeed, 27 Easy Weeknight Dinners Your Kids Will Actually Like :“Picky” isn’t always synonymous with “difficult.”  It's not?  Are they sure?
"All the green stuff"
First of all I don't want to be a total hater, I'm sure that the author of this article meant well and I am sure that she might have even done some research on the matter and maybe, possibly found ONE "picky eater" that would be willing to eat one or more of these beautiful recipes.  I also want to make very clear that all of these recipes look delightful.  I haven't actually looked at the recipes themselves but the photos, friggin' YUM.  I would personally eat all 27 meals.  That said,
I am the personal chef to a legitimate picky eater.  I am the friend to several other mothers with legitimate picky eaters.  We have all dined together with our picky children and I assure you that no legitimate picky eater is going anywhere near any of these recipes.  There are 2 that a few picky eaters may be persuaded to eat but even they would require some real coaxing.

My picky eater was not always a picky eater.  For the first 2 years of his life he ate everything and anything I put in front of him.  Being a bit of a "foodie" (I hate that word but if the shoe fits...) this delighted me to no end.  I am also pretty good in the kitchen.  It is one of the few skills that I will openly admit to being good at, I am confident that I absolutely know my way around a kitchen.  I feel this is important information because I think that people assume (I was guilty of this myself!) picky eaters are a result of under-exposure or bad cooking.  This is absolutely not the case.
 Being the personal chef to a picky eater is pretty frustrating, so when I come across an article with ideas to get my picky eater to eat...well, I pay attention!  There are endless lists and articles and even cookbooks available with ideas but I have always found the offerings to be totally unrealistic in terms of prep/cook time and/or totally off the mark.  This latest article had me in hysterics.  I wish there was a nicer way to say, "I call MAJOR bull shit!"  I imagined cooking each and every one of these meals and serving them to my children and I imagined how at least one (if not both) would respond...and then I had an idea...I would show my 4 1/2 year old, real life, legitimate picky eater all 27 of these delectable meals in all their food styled glory and tell him the name of the dish...and film his real time reaction.

"Tomatoes and Weeds"

I have intentionally not edited this footage.  Trust me, I wanted to because I did not anticipate being on camera and I was NOT camera ready by any stretch.  In the interest in capturing and sharing the REAL reactions without any editing trickery, I present to you...

"Rotten Food"

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

10 Moments That Will Make You Question Your Decision to Become a Parent

There is no shortage of moments in a mother’s day that make her question her decision to become a mother…or at the very least her decision to be the primary care giver in her home. 

10 Moments That Will Make You Question Your Decision to Become a Parent:

1. Cleaning up toddler diarrhea out of a full bathtub.  (Please see the following:  "Shit")

2. Being vomited on…multiple times…in one night.

3. When a toddler begins to “alligator roll” while changing a very messy poopie diaper creating a catastrophic scenario in which it is very likely something, possibly your hair, will end up with poop on/in it.

4. That moment your child figures out how to Houdini out of the 3 point harness of his stroller rendering it useless.

5.  When your child throws an entire bowl of cous cous across the dining room…cous cous is nature’s glitter.

6. Taking your children to the beach if they are under the age of 4.

7. Scheduling immunizations and flu shots for multiple children during the same doctor visit.

8. When your oatmeal covered child hugs you and you are wearing a new clean black sweater…which is now covered in oatmeal.

9. Changing a baby over the age of 4 months on an airplane.

10.  Cleaning up toddler diarrhea out of a full bathtub for the second time in one week.

Thursday, January 8, 2015

I Call BullSh#t

I am a fan of RedTricycle so I hate to do this, but I am calling bullshit on this one.

Red Tricycle National

The ENTIRE reason “witching hour” occurs is because that is when Mom has to actually accomplish something.  That is the time Mom starts to get dinner prepped, realizes the laundry is still sitting in the washing machine or that it’s almost 5pm and the health insurance company phone service is going to close and they still haven’t processed that mother fucking paper work!

The kids go berserk because their entertainment leader and/or referee is BUSY.

I like some the ideas on this RedTricycle post, (so please check it out) but unless your child is 10 (which means they’ve pretty much grown out of the “witching hour”) most of these require a mom’s full attention and help.  I don’t know about you but I am not attempting any of this crap with tired/post school whining little jerks at 4pm.  I have food to get on the table, 3 loads of laundry to do or everyone is going commando tomorrow and an unpleasant phone call to make!