Please tell me I am not the only person that had this fantasy.
Well, as a stay at home mom, the fantasy continues. It looks like this:
Crazy week leading up to CEO's birthday party (please refer to previous post). Crazy party day followed by 2 days of post party clean up. Add to that, CEO home from school an additional day this week which means I lose a whole day of getting anything accomplished. Throw in rushed appointment (which required drop in day care) to the vet to bring sick elderly cat to get checked and leave without sick elderly cat. Cry for the remaining afternoon and try to explain what happened to the cat to the CEO. Clean entire house to take mind off of loss of kitty and also because kitty spent days shitting and tracking all over the house. Drink too much wine, don't sleep. Get up in the morning and walk into the Managing Partners room to find stench of vomit and vomit soaked crib. Clean up. Rush out of the house to make it to doctor appointment that I should have had 6 months ago but haven't had the time or desire to manage. Rush around to accomplish as many errands as I could before I had to relieve the sitter. Get home, relieve the sitter (realize I totally forgot to get cash out, and tell sitter I owe her money!) put the Managing Partner to nap. Do 500 things while he naps, including hanging new black out blinds in the CEO's room since he tore the previous set, hanging a new curtain in the laundry room that I have been able to reclaim since the cat box no longer resides in there. Clean the rest of the house I never got to last night. Make phone calls, wake up sleeping toddler, pick up CEO from school, come home cook dinner, feed kids dinner...try not to kill children who are barely eating the delicious dinner I cooked from scratch. WHY THE HELL DO I EVEN BOTHER!!!!??? Start cleaning half eaten dinners away, turn around to see the Managing Partner projectile vomiting across the one room in the entire house with carpeting and all over the expensive, recently replaced custom ottoman. Throw toddler in the bath tub, return the scene to find dumbest dog on earth eating the vomit. Tell CEO (praying I will appeal to his Super Hero sensibility) "It's an emergency, you have to go watch your brother and make sure he is ok, tell me if he vomits again, I will be right there...." Go get something to scoop up vomit. Scoop. Run back to bath tub as toddler is climbing out. Wrap him in a towel. Place both children in front of TV as loud as it can go and start steam cleaning carpet and ottoman. Listen to 4 year old CEO scream "shut that off" just to add to the noise and chaos. Have fantasy in which I turn off the cleaner and throw whatever is closest to me, even it if is a child and yell, "FUCK THIS SHIT!" and calmly leave the house.